Dear Student:

Do you really feel that emailing your teacher from Feel_That_Bad_Boy@[emailserver.com] is honestly the appearance you want to present to her? I mean, for realz?

I mean, I know I'm hot and all, but zip it back up.

Kthxbye,
Dr. Shamela

p.s. Yes, we ARE having class on MLKJr. Day. Just don't get me started.

So, I'm teaching Literary and Critical Theory, as I always do in the winter, and yesterday was finishing up my patented Galloping Tour of the History of Criticism from Aristotle to the Late 19th Century (have I mentioned how much I hate the quarter system lately?) and got into the part of my spiel about the dangers of being slavishly adherent to ( Read more... )

At work proctoring the Engl. dept. writing validation/placement exam. HUGE note on board: "ALL incoming students must take this exam." Spentfive min. explaining same. Don't care if you have AP/transfer credit, have already been placed, whatev.

Number of students thus far who have come up to ask me if they have to take the exam? Eleven.*sigh

A comment jotted on a reading quiz today...and I swear by all that's holy that I am NOT MAKING THIS UP:

"I didn't take notes on Friday, so I don't think it's really fair for you to ask a question from that stuff."

Stake me out in the sunlight. Now. PLEASE.

The set-up:
First exam for Gothic Lit. course. Items include Frankenstein (prose), Byron's "Lara" (poetry), Walpole's Castle of Otranto (also prose), and some Radcliffe (I know you know those genres...but the emphasis becomes important shortly ( Read more... )

So, the B.H. and I were waiting to turn left at a light on our way back from a trip downtown early this afternoon and *WHAM*, young college student rams right into us, going about 45 in her big-ass SUV. I'm pretty sure she was already on the cell phone, because she was mid-conversation as she was getting out of her car ( Read more... )

Oh, friends. It is currently 10 degrees here in my neck of the woods. Ten. Degrees ( Read more... )

Dear Senior English Major ( Read more... )

From a ENGL 325 purpose statement:

"I want a job which will let me interact with human and animal behaviors."

Dear Honors Students:

Please, for the love of little green peas (TM Dr. lachrymosa, or possibly Dr. sauvagerie), avoid figurative language in your academic essays. The mildest offenders are "X draws/paints a picture of...", "Y shines a light on...", and "Z opens the door to..." I realize full well that the creative writer who is teaching honors comp is trying to ( Read more... )